I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize