Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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