Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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