Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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