More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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