you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
