google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
