Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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