those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
