I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize