She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
