Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
