Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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