They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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