Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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