Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Dignity is for republicans.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
