i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
