He asked to "fluff my boner.."
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
