I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
