Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
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