i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
