WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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