she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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