Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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