I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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