Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
