ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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