do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
