Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
