The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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