Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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