He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize