I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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