Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
