So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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