I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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