Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize
