Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
