I wish I only lived at night.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
