like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
