It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
