summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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