Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
