you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
