it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Such a big mess for such a small penis
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
