I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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