me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
