I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
