Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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