he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
