If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
