she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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