Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
