I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
