"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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