bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Holy sore nipples Batman
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
