KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
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