just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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