Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
