its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
