It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
