If i come over, it means nothing
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
