just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize