We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
